After Life
by tenamanda1988
Summary: The last few years of Near's life were barely memorable... MxN boylove inside


**Title: **After life

**Author**: Tenshiamanda

**Rating**: PG-13

**Pairings**: Mello/Near

**Spoilers**: Whole series

**Summary: **The last few years of Near's life were barely memorable...

**Author's Notes:** Written because I felt so sad for Near at the end of DN D: I decided he needed a happier ending.

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The last few years of Near's life were barely memorable, at least in the white haired man's own opinion. Others might have spoken differently, his team especially. After all he was L, the best detective in the world, the best three in fact.

But in the end he was certain, it meant nothing. Absolutely nothing.

His world was monotone, an endless sea of cases, murderer's, rapists, thieves; he sent them to their just desserts one by one. Robotically, following the set pattern of gathering his evidence and trapping them in their own mistakes.

It was three years after the end of the Kira case that he woke up one morning and realised that he had truly become the machine Mello always said he was.

Since that time, that cool crisp January day when a God died nothing seemed worth it anymore. No, perhaps it had began before then, when a newsreader was kidnapped and went up a hellish blaze of fire, taking with her the only person Near had ever found worth the effort.

Kira had been caught, but took with him every bond Near had.

L was the first casualty, trapped and pinned by supernatural laws he couldn't know of. By the time he did, it was already too late, Yagami Light closed the trap and crushed L's heart the way he had so many criminals. The light and idol of the Whammy's House had fallen, leaving the fate of the world in the hands of two inexperienced boys, already handicapped by the death of their mentor and the pressures of the institute they were raised in. If it had not been for the orphanages carefully groomed competitive atmosphere he mused, perhaps he and Mello could have worked together, even been friends.

Then Mello, with Matt following behind. Matt a boy Near barely knew, only able to recall faded memories of lazy afternoons when a red headed child allowed him to play on his gameboy, hours spent in easy silence by two who preferred the gloom of indoors. Perhaps it was irony that Matt had died in a manner so like the video games he loved, riddled with bullets on the cold tarmac after a high speed chase. No, Near decided, it was only tragic.

There had been no glory, just sacrifice.

Mello, Mello who hated him, Mello who ranted and raged and fought with everything he had against the world. Clawing his way up and up, refusing to submit no matter how many times he got knocked down. He never let Near forget, never let him ignore him like he did so many other people. But most importantly, Mello had made him _feel_ , annoyance, curiousity, need. Thing's Near never thought he could want but now found he missed.

Almost a month after Yagami Light's death Near had recieved an email, a gothic 'M' scrawled across the screen with a simple message.

_It was the only way, I hope you're grateful._

For the first and only time in his memory, Near cried. That one simple sentence triggering the tide he'd been holding back ever since the whole, horrible mess began. It was only for ten minutes but his throat felt sore, his eyes were red and damp stained his cherubic cheeks. Afterwards he reached out a shaky hand to call Lester and in the steadiest voice he could, asked for a bar of chocolate.

Years later, approaching his mid-twenties when his sense of isolation and nothingness surrounded him like a shroud, the frail health that had haunted him all his life finally dealt a deadly blow. Despite his practice of staying indoors always something made its way into his system, carried by a piece of evidence perhaps or one of his surbordinates and began systematically pulling him apart.

Now, lying on a bed in a cold hospital room, barely able to see, hear, struggling even to _think,_ Near knew his time was almost over. Sensations drifted across his mind, the deep sad rumble of Lester's voice, the startling coolness of Halle's hand as she stroked his fevered forehead and sweaty hair, struggling to hold back her tears. Roger was also there he believed, or had that just been a dream? Everything was fading away, reality moving beyond the reach of his exceptional mind.

He wondered, as the darkness closed in on him, had this life really been worth living? Had anything he'd done...

been...

worthwhile...

Nate River died with the single memory of a golden haired fourteen year old boy, watching him from the doorway of the Whammy House common room as he played on the floor running through his mind.

Leather. He could smell it, harsh, tangy, right under his nose, forcing its way into his senses. There was also warmth, emanating from beneath it, his head pillowed on whatever it was, slowly rising and falling. This wasn't right was it? He was dead after all, or was he dreaming? More sensations, what felt like hands resting lightly at the small of his back, fingers making small stroking motions along his spine. The more he concentrated - still keeping his eyes carefully closed - the more the world sharpened into focus, voices filtering through the air.

"-been two days, he might not wake up for two more!"

"Shut the hell up Matt."

_Matt...?_

"Awww come on! Just play one game with me, just one! Its not like he's going anywhere."

"I said no."

_That voice..._

"Urgh, you've been so boring since he arrived Mello. I know this is import-"

_Mello!_

He reacted, breath hitching as his finger's reflexively tightened on the chest, because it was someone's chest he was lying on, eyes opening to sunlight streaming through a window as he struggled to lift his head and see him. He had to see him, make sure this was real, not his mind playing tricks on him.

The arms around him tightened, a hand moving to the back of his head to try and steady him, "Near! Calm down!" But he couldn't, not until he saw...

"Mello..." his voice felt thick, unused as he breathed out the name. Staring up at the vision above him, ragged blonde hair, a sharp face marred by a vicious burn scar and those intense black eyes staring back at him.

"Yeah, its me." Melo said quietly, eyes roving of their own accord, examining every inch of Near.

"Whoa man, now that was timing."

"Matt," Mello growled, "Fuck off."

"Jeez fine, I'll leave you two alone..." Matt's voice sounded teasingly, "I'll go tell L." Before the noise of his footsteps indicated him leaving the room.

"Whatever." Mello sounded like he was ready to throttle the other boy.

Then it was just them, Near and Mello, left together in a room that the younger realised looked suspiciously like those of the bedrooms at the Whammy House.

"Where... how?" he finally managed, pulling himself up into a sitting poistion between Mello's legs, the blonde's arms letting go of him.

Mello also sat up from his reclining position, shrugging easily, "Heaven, the afterlife, limbo... whatever you want to call it. As to how, well, you died didn't you?"

Near lifted a hand and played with his hair, the familiar action stabilising him, "Yes."

"Well then," Mello snorted, "What did you expect?"

"I don't know... I never believed in an afterlife."

"Well you've got one." Mello grunted, pulling a chocolate bar out of seemingly nowhere and crunching it between his teeth. For a few minutes that was the only sound before Near spoke.

"I got your message..." he whispered.

"Glad to hear it." Mello grinned, looking triumphant.

"I... cried for you."

It was a good thing they were already dead, else Mello might have choked. "You cried?!" he coughed, "For me?!" His voice was incredulous, disbelieving.

"I wouldn't lie about something like that Mello." Near told him flatly.

"Damn it, I know Near. Just, I can't believe you fucking cried." Mello shook his head, hair swishing about his face. "Fucking hell. You never show any damned emotion."

"I know."

"Then why?" Mello arched a pale eyebrow

"Because... it hurt. I... was sad, that you were gone." He admitted, hand shaking slightly in his silvery locks, "Why did you do it?"

"Why did I do what?"

"Kidnap Takada, get yourself killed like that."

Mello frowned, "I said it was the only way didn't I?" He hesitated, "And..."

Near perked his head up, "Yes?"

"I guess... I didn't want you to die alright? And you fucking would have if I hadn't." Mello turned his gaze away, his cheeks flushing brightly.

"What about Matt?" Near asked, a delay tactic as his mind processed what Mello had said.

"What about him? He knew what he was signing on for when he agreed to help me. I never forced him to do shit."

"Mello."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Mello looked at him, chocolate dangling between his lips before he grunted, "Its nothing."

"Why didn't you want me to die?" Near pressed, curiousity pushing him forwards.

"What the hell? We aren't playing twenty questions here Near."

"Please Mello." Near said softly, meeting those intense eyes as they glared at him.

"Urgh..." Mello looked distinctly uncomfortable, "I... don't hate you, entirely." The chocolate bar was ravaged again, huge chunks disappearing in quick succession like the admission pained him. Which it probably did. "That enough for you?"

"I guess." Near twirled his hair, Mello didn't hate him... he'd held him when he'd arrived here. It shook so many of the foundations of his belief of the truths in his life, former life now. Maybe this really was a dream... "L is here."

"Yeah." Mello nodded, shoving the last of the chocolate into his mouth.

"I suppose I better go see him then." He didn't truly want to leave Mello, he still had questions, but he felt overloaded. Struggling to come to terms with it all, he was dead, this was the afterlife, and Mello... he turned round to climb over Mello's leg and get off the bed.

"What?! Hey!" A strong hand clamped around his small wrist and yanked him back, "Don't you fucking dare." Mello shoved him down onto the bed and towered over him, holding Near's wrists and straddling his hips. "I'm not done yet!"

"Done?" Near stared up at him with wide questioning eyes, "Mello, what do you-"

Hot lips, burning against his, pressing down with enough force to bruise he was sure. the entire world suddenly went haywire around him, rational thought jumping out of the window and buying a quick death on the pavement below. And oh God it was there, that need Mello inspired in him, washing everything else away until there was just them and this... this kiss. He closed his eyes and led by instinct alone, kissed back. The next few minutes were a blur of emotion and heat, lips and teeth knocking together, a tongue dominating his mouth as Mello's hands released his wrists and caressed his sides. An explosion of something Near never even knew he had locked away.

When they broke away, panting, Near saw the victorious smirk on Mello's lips, swollen and red much like he imagined his own were. Hesistantly he reached up, tracing them delicately with his fingers before moving on to stroke Mello's cheek, the harsh lines of his scar.

"So..." Mello was still smirking, like a cat who'd gotten the cream. "Get it now?"

"Y-Yes." Near managed, surprised that his voice came out in a squeak that made Mello chuckle darkly.

"And?" He pressed.

"I... L can wait." he murmured, pushing his fingers into golden strands and tugging Mello's head back down, making the older man laugh more.

"Damn right he can."

END


End file.
